Finally!A practical use for poetry books!

The self-isolating precaution that we are collectively taking as a household will invariably require certain sacrifices to be made, some temporary curtailment of the norms of everyday life, things we take for granted, for the common good.

I must practice saying that in a sincere voice. This is only day two so there’s every chance I might manage it, in much the same way is it assumed that by constant practising of one’s meditation techniques enables one to attain a calmer equilibrium.

The other night I was treated to a piece of information….’treated’ is on refection the wrong word, because you know that feeling you have when you are told something but wish you hadn’t heard it because you can’t ever unknow it?

It was one of them.

Without going in to graphic detail, the subject was of bottom hygiene, more specifically how one dealt with it. It truly is an indication of how fucked up things are that this seemed a wholly natural thing to be discussing.

It was something of a revelation to learn that one of my housemates practiced the ‘broccoli floret’ method whereby they gather a bunch of toilet paper in the hand like a broccoli floret and introduce this to the area concerned.

I shit you not!

Others however, professed to being adherents of the altogether less wasteful method of folding half the amount of sheets needed for the ‘broccoli method’ flat, folding them over again, and then wiping. This method also has the advantage of affording you the opportunity to wipe again, if needed by just carefully fold it the other way and repeating the process. In these times of a toilet paper shortage any other way seems extremely profligate. Mind you, the shelves in the toilet positively groan under the sheer weight of poetry books, and their groaning is far more colourful, far more immediately understandable than the poetry. I have suggested that the poetry books may have finally come into there own. Oddly enough, this wasn’t greeted as enthusiastically as I’d hoped

Who said poetry has no practical application? I suppose it’s all about how and where you apply it.