the brilliantly leaping gazelle

The Leaders Debate on ITV on Tuesday night between Prada and NotHardie was like watching two bald men fighting over comb. 

The most obvious thing to remark was that the host, Julie Etchingham seemed as capable of hosting a debate such as that as I would be to run The London Marathon. Why she wasn’t given a mute button for when either man spoke on after his allotted time, repeatedly talked over his opponent or transgressed in some other way, I don’t know. Instead all she had were her increasing ineffectual plea’s for them to stop behaving like the entitled stuffed shirts they were, plea’s which they quite happily ignored

That’s the trivial point made.

According to his Wikipedia page, NotHardie became an MP in 2015, and held a number of Shadow Cabinet posts prior to becoming Labour leader in April 2020. Before that, in 2008, he became Director of Public Prosecutions and Head of the Crown Prosecution Service, holding these positions until 2013.

I draw your attention to these facts because to me they suggest a man who should be used to public speaking. He became a barrister in 1987, after all, so one would think he’d have had gained at least some proficiency by now. Someone possessed with flexible mental acuity, a recall of facts and figures all the better to help him to weave a convincing narrative. And if along the way, a commanding and engaging presence developed, so much the better. One would’ve hoped so, if only for his clients sake.

And as an MP, from campaigning to become one – attending hustings and addressing constituency events – to making the transition from backbencher, then frontbencher and eventually leader, you’d think all that would’ve sharpened his skills somewhat.

No.

Before television became the main vehicle for politicians to communicate with the electorate, how politicians presented themselves didn’t much matter.  But for better and worse, progress has dictated otherwise and now we live in an age where this matters. Famously, Margaret Thatcher had lessons to soften her voice, to make it seem less hectoring and to not alienate viewers.

How a politician presents themselves is important, especially now when every move, every utterance can be forensically speculated over, discussed and criticised in our endless media nightmare. This being so, and things having been heading this way for many years now, you’d be forgiven for thinking that NotHardie would’ve realised the need to ensure that the way he presented himself matched his ambition. That upon becoming leader, that he would’ve immediately charged his media team with preparing him for moments such as Tuesday night and that they – and him – had risen to the challenge. 

I saw no evidence of this.

I saw no passion, no burning sense of injustice on behalf of of families struggling under the cost of living crisis, no indignation about the woeful state of a nation that needs over 2,500 food banks and no controlled anger at the systematic underfunding, staffing shortages and the increasing use of the private sector in of the NHS. Something one would imagine he has more insight about than most, given that his wife works for the NHS in Occupational Health.

Neither was there much sense of a foundational principle, one that has informed his entire way of political thinking. Come to think of it, it is almost impossible to think of any principles he truly believes in, other than that he wants to be PM and will say or do anything to get elected. 

The only thing he does stand for is the National Anthem.  

Wikipedia also gifted me the absolute treasure that his middle name is Rodney. 

Which means that from now on I’ll be calling him Plonker, obviously.