The misanthrope’s advent calendar – day 9
by Pseud O'Nym
One of the things I hate about christmas – and there are many – are homemade decorations.
To me– and anyone else with an I.Q. larger than the radius of their kneecap – homemade decorations are an inherent contradiction. Yes, they may well look homemade, but in no way are they decorative. To be so generous as to call them decorative, they must either have been made by a small child of no more than nine years or…actually I can’t think of anyone else. Homemade decorations are are made by people who think they’re Kirstie Allsopp just because they watched ‘Blue Peter’ as a child and and are delusional in their belief that some tinsel, some coat-hangers and some candles won’t create a fire risk, but will make an attractive decoration. There must’ve been millions of parents years ago, who in December would hear the words ‘Just ask your parents to step out of the room now,, with a feeling of dread. Those children have, unfortunately, a belief that something homemade is imbued with an integrity, is somehow more worthy than something bought.
Worthy of being burnt before befouling peoples eyes, actually.