the brilliantly leaping gazelle

This is why I don’t watch or listen to the news, because in space of one ‘phone call to my partner last night, I learned the following; people have been burning down 5G telephone masts – some weird conspiracy nonsense involving the Chinese, radiation and fuckwits –so much so that Michael Gove had to tell people to stop during yesterdays No.10 press conference. Yeah, those telephone masts, the one’s the emergency services use.

Oh and murders have been committed because of the lockdown. And domestic violence is up. By 30%, apparently. I thought it would’ve been more, but you know, early doors.

Not forgetting cruise ships. People are stuck on them somewhere. Quite why they got on them in the first place is beyond me. Most cruises are for either 7 or 14 nights I thought, so who, in the middle of all this would think ‘Sod it; we’re going to go on holiday. It’s all bought and paid for!”

And yesterday there were 3,000 people in Brockwell Park. How the police can magic this number up, when anyone who’s ever been on a march knows that police figures are woefully crap. They plan to close it, to enforce social distancing. If that were the case, the weather forecasters wouldn’t grin like Cheshire cats when they announce that tomorrow was going to be a another glorious day – which it was – yesterday. They’d possibly reinforce government stipulations, which you’d expect the BBC to do, it being a public service broadcaster and all

In an outbreak of common-sense triumphing over stupidity,couple of anti-vaccers have lost their court battle to prevent their daughter from being vaccinated, claiming it represented state control or something. They lost and the daughter who may or may not have already been in care, is now, and will be vaccinated. So they fought a legal battle to prevent state control, lost it and the result is the thing they wanted to avoid? Show me your workings out?

This is why I don’t watch or listen to the news. It’s just so predictable, inasmuch as the events themselves might be new, but the behavioural impulses that create them unfortunately are not. I don’t want my head full of this shit. It’s remorselessly grim, especially now, and too much of it might make you ill. Might?  I’ve got enough to worry about as it is, the mystery of the vanishing tea bags, for one.

As I think I made clear in an earlier blog, my thoughts on tea are well known. So imagine my unbounded joy when this morning, the tea caddy was mysteriously short of the amount my housemate had topped them up with last night. My thoughts on discovering this were not happy ones.