the brilliantly leaping gazelle

It wasn’t exactly what I’d call a red letter day for me yesterday. All of my possessions went into storage and all of the furniture went to Nosferu’s house in Stoke Newington. She rather wonderfully came over to help, and on the journey over to the storage unit, I remarked that not only should the weather have matched my mood – grey and miserable, not a gloriously sunny.

It was a real headfuck, seeing all my stuff being put into a storage unit and then locked way I would have felt more…more, but I just had to get through it, so a kind temporary functional anesthetic descended over me. Allowing me not to focus on the harsh reality of it all. Although it was no match for what await me when I returned. The room that now used to be mine was just an empty shell, four walls and a ceiling enclosing nothing.

Then today it was trying to deal with social services so my care package could be transffred. It seems like sorting out one thing invariably leads to another to be sorted and so on.

It seems like a lyric from the Pet Shop Boys song ‘ Yesterday When I was Mad’ has crashed into my head and Sisyphus is pushing it around in there.

Yesterday, when I was mad, And quite prepared to give up everything, Admitting, I don’t believe in anyone’s sincerity, And that’s whats really got to me.