the brilliantly leaping gazelle

Even if I wasn’t in the chipper mood I am right nowon account of watching England beat Mexico in the World Cup this morning, this news story would’ve cheered me right up.

‘Australian prime minister says he would ‘shag’ Kylie Minogue’ was how’ The Daily Telegraph’’ chose to put it. Which, if you only read the headline before moving on, might leave you thinking that he was addressing their Parliament, giving a speech at a conference somewhere or prize giving at his old school when he just blurted this out.

What actually happened was this. Anthony Albanese, the Australian PM was appearing on a podcast. He was asked who he would “shag, marry or date” out of the pop star, or actresses Nicole Kidman and Rhonda Burchmore. I’ve idea who she is either.

After being asked the question, Mr Albanese was initially reluctant. “I just got married,” he said, “I’m only six months in.” But the host insisted saying: “But if it goes tits up, let’s just pretend,” the prime minister replied: “Kylie, clearly.” “You’d marry Kylie and shag her and date her?” Mr Albanese replied “all of the above”, adding: “She’s terrific.”

Which is the correct answer. It’s a no brainer. If you happen to be heterosexual male with normal eyesight, that is. It just is. Not, it seems, if you’re an opposition MP keen to manufacture a controversy out of someone not taking themselves to seriously. Sarah Henderson, shadow minister for communications and digital safety, said his comments “demean the office of prime minister”.

She then added “Australia’s Anthony Albanese’s whisky-fuelled comments are disrespectful to women, embarrassing to Australians and demean the office of prime minister.” Creating the impression that he’d been totally shit-faced when he said it, as opposed to the more sober reality of him having sipped occasionally from a glass of whiskey and water. And even if he had been totally shit-faced, do we really think it would’ve been ‘embarrassing to Australians?’

She is latest in a long line of politicians who seize on what was clearly a light-hearted comment and turn it into an opportunity to parade their highly censorious morality and get a jibe in at the same time. “Rather than politely decline to engage, Mr Albanese got into the gutter with his grubby remarks, which show extremely poor judgement at a time when trust in Labor is collapsing.”

The only Australian she’s embarrassing is herself. As she herself says,’ Australians deserve better than this.”