Is coronavirus the new Jo Swindle?

by Pseud O'Nym

I haven’t posted a blog for a while now, partly due to the fact that each post gets on average fewer readers than Boris’s Johnson has children and partly due to the fact that since last Christmas I’ve been avoiding news bulletins and websites. This has been a conscious decision and yet bizarrely my not paying attention to what is going on doesn’t seem to have had a discernible effect on anything.

I knew I was onto a winner just before – or after — New Year, when my partner asked me what did I think about Megan and Harry? Oh, I said, what have they done now? The notion that they’d done something that some people considered news worthy and were talking about it endlessly came as a shock. Although it has to be said, much less of a shock than me not knowing about it and then me knowing about it and still not caring about it. I may continue in this happy state of blissful ignorance regarding events that have no direct effect on me for the foreseeable.

However one thing that I have unsuccessfully avoided is news about the Coronavirus and last week a housemate asked me how many people had died because of it, to which I replied, ‘Not enough’. As any reader familiar with this blog will know, this is a fair encapsulation of my view of things – namely that there are far too many people alive for this planet to sustain and therefore we need a drastic and immediate reversal of this situation. At present the world’s population stands at 7.6 billions and everysecond here are two births, so you can work out how many babies have been born in the time it’s taken you to read this post.

Unfortunately, the Coronavirus isn’t the answer to this problem, at least not yet anyways.

I can’t help but notice that there have been very few Coronavirus deaths in Europe but onaverage 600 people a year die from the flu in the UK, but in 2013 13,000 died of it. Yet we’re meant to be concerned about this supposed killer virus? Really? The coronavirus scare reminds me of Jo Swindle, in the sense it was only she that was saying she was a possible PM and it is only the media that are making a huge issue out of this supposed killer virus. According to the BBC, as of yesterdaynearly 78,00 people in China had had the virus, of whom only 3,000 have died. A mortality rate of less than 4% is not commensurate with the headlines, methinks.

Possibly the government should make flu jabs compulsory, legislate to prevent children from attending school unless they’re vaccinated against MMR or better yet, making access to the NHS or private medicine conditional upon one proving their fully inoculated. To ensure we’re all safe.

I know this might seem a tad self serving, but it’s nowhere near as selfish as the people on that cruise liner in Japan wanting to be repatriated back to the UK, making their problem our problem. They’re on board a ship, keep them their and whoever is alive and healthy after four weeks is alive and healthy and able to set foot on dry land. Practical Darwinism.

On a more sombre note, Andrew Weatherall died last week. If you knew who he was, you’ll know this saddened me

But enough of this! Lets have a happy ending instead, well not that kind of happy ending but Ryuici Sakamoto performing ‘Happy End’!