the brilliantly leaping gazelle

Maybe it’s just me, but the timing of the current allegations about anti-semitism that have dogged the Labour Party does seem highly coincidental to those wishing to denounce Jeremy Corbyn’s leadership of the Labour Party. I mean, he came to the Labour leadership against all odds about three years ago, and before then any allegations of anti-semitism in the Labour Party were not given as much prominence in the media as they are now. In all probability incidents of anti-semitism have taken place but, as I asked yesterday, when does not liking someone because of their words and deeds become discriminatory?

Yes, anti-semitism is a problem, but it is a problem that is exists in wider society and, like most other forms of discrimination, until society as a whole learns to deal eradicate it, it’s highly unrealistic to expect a small group of individuals from exempt from those biases. Of course, someone guilty of a hate crime needs to be named and shamed, but again when does a frank and robust exchange of views become threatening and bullying behaviour? Who decides if something is hate speech or an ill advised mode expression? Who decides on opinions, on how people felt about what was said? Who judges this, and what are their criteria?

Anyway, it won’t be me. I was once accused of staring at someone in a ‘racist manner’.

One would be forgiven for thinking that Jeremy Corbyn was trying his hand at stand-up comedy when, in announcing his support for a second referendum on Brexit, he expressed the hope that, in so doing, Labour would help unite the country. There are quite a few problems with this.

First of all, as I’ve noted on this blog before, as a way of convincing traditional Labour voters in Wales and the northern heartlands that Labour is listening to them and as impotent as decisions made in the Islington and Westminster echo chambers, supporting calls for a second referendum isn’t the way to it. By having a second referendum or whatever formulation of weasly words it might pass itself off as, it will alienate the very Labour voters who voted for Brexit in the first place and who Labour are hoping to attract back

Secondly, the divisions that were exposed in the country by the first referendum and present Brexit debacle are incredibly unlikely to be healed by having a second referendum. If the EU elections have taught us anything, it is that the divisions that were present in the first referendum are just as prevalent now as they were then. Possibly more so, as possibly the abject failure of the government to deliver on the referendum result and Labour’s inability to offer a sensible, coherent and above all consistent statement of its views exacerbates the very problem it creates. Indeed the mother of all parliaments has been a right mutha.

Thirdly, supporting calls for a second referendum, it might be seen as a panicked response to the collapse of the Labour vote in the EU elections and nothing more. Say what you will about the Brexit Party and the Lib Dems, at least they both had a clear message that separated them from each other and the two main parties. This gave voters who supported either position a home for their vote. As various commentators have observed, what the electorate needed was clarity, and suddenly discovering at this late stage that a second referendum is needed is nothing short of the very worst political opportunism.

Fourthly, in supporting calls for a second referendum, Corbyn may have needlessly created problems for Labour from which they may never recover. Namely, what should be on the ballot? It’s all well and good to call for something, but much harder to decide how to answer that call. The problems Labour has had with dealing with allegations of anti-semetism will be as nothing if it has to deal with what is, and what isn’t on the ballot. And they think after all this internal wrangling, an answer will agreed on fast? It makes me think of what my Irish uncles would say to me when I was being stupid, “Will you ever stop acting the eejit  and cop on at all?”

This morning saw the final nail to rammed home into the coffin that is my Labour party membership. I, like so many others, joined the Labour party in the immediate aftermath of Jeremy Corbyn’s election as Labour leader, imbued with a feeling of hope that finally the Labour party would reengage socialism again. After the complete and utter destruction that Tony Blair wreaked on Labour in the mid 1990’s to make it electable, Labour increasingly saw itself not so much as an instrument to help bring about positive social change for the many, but to win elections by making it almost indistinct from the Conservative Party. No wonder then, when Mrs. Thatcher was asked to name her greatest political success, she replied “Tony Blair.”

So the election of Corbyn as leader indicated a new kind of politics, and so it proved to be, just not in the way I’d hoped. As a backbench MP he’d never been a great orator, but that didn’t matter, because it wasn’t because of how he was saying what he what he was saying more that he was saying it. He defied the party whip, abstained or voted against Labour governments, although to be fair, they were Tony Blair version of a Labour government, so the blame wasn’t all his. But it does make it rather difficult when your leader to call on Labour MP’s to show loyalty when he wasn’t overly encumbered with it previously.

So fast-forward to this morning. It wasn’t the news that,

The Equality and Human Rights Commission has launched a formal investigation into the Labour Party over allegations of anti-Semitism.

As bad as anti-Semitism is, unless someone is calling you anti-Semitic names, sending you anti-Semitic social media messages or being explicitly anti-Semitic, how do you prove it? I mean, I know that I’m on very thin ice here, not being Jewish, but not wishing to excuse anything away, but how do you prove anti-Semitic intent or religious hatred?

Anyway, best I quit whilst I’m ahead and let you know what it was that finally did it for me. It was this,

Jeremy Corbyn has pledged to support a second referendum on any Brexit deal after the Labour leadership came under overwhelming pressure to halt the exodus of its remain voters who backed pro-EU parties at the European elections.

A craven betrayal of Labour voters who’d voted to leave the EU, a pathetic and cowardly attempt to staunch the losses suffered in the EU elections, and to appease the elements Labour calling for a second referendum. By so doing, he’s proven himself to be just as focused on winning elections by abandoning principles as Tony Blair!

Not that I’m obsessed or anything but is it only me that finds something deeply concerning and inherently troubling for our democracy in the EU election results. Not because of the party that emerged victorious, although that is deeply concerning and inherently troubling enough for the consequences it could engender. But because only 39.6% of people eligible to vote, actually bothered to do so.

I mean, it’s not as if our future relationship with Europe hasn’t dominated the political landscape over the last three years, in the same way that Celtic FC have dominated Scottish football over the same period.

And it’s not as if voting here is in any way an onerous activity. You’re more likely to be greeted by a bored election official in a church hall than to risk death from a suicide bomber, is it? It makes me more annoyed than the Brexit Party winning, that more people didn’t vote than did, but not as much as realizing that 31% of voters didn’t vote in the EU referendum. What was so pressingly important that it trumped that?

I find it staggeringly pathetic of people not to vote. It was only comparatively recently that women got the vote, although this gave rise to the widespread belief that women would vote the way men in their life wanted them too. Some men still think they can do that. Because who one votes for is nowhere near as important as taking an active role in the democratic process, because if one doesn’t vote, not only is your vote not cast, but worse, the that the vote of the people who do bother is worth more, because it’s counted and yours is not.

If the rules of the EU referendum had stipulated that be legally binding, at least 75& of eligible voters needed to vote and that the winners would be required to have won by at least 15% of votes cast. But a) thats not how referendum’s work and more importantly, it was never a legally binding vote, just the largest indicative non binding vote in British history. So anyone who claims that yesterdays means anything other than huge swathes of voter disengagement with the political process is at best deluding themselves and at worst, deluding others. I mean, really? Only 39.6% of eligible voters did so and of those that did, only 32% voted for the Brexit party? Not exactly what you’d call a ringing endorsement, is it.

So given given that 60.1% of people didn’t bother to vote, maybe ITV was right in it’s judgement not to provide coverage of the EU election results after all.

Last nights EU election results gave the country the worst possible outcome. Inasmuch as the Tory party will be as scared of the Brexit party as they were of UKIP after the EU elections in 2014, which triggered the mess we’re in now. And a consequence of this will be the election of a Tory leader who MP’s and members hope will reverse this electoral apocalypse in an General Election, by promoting a harder Brexit that returns them to power. Talk about narrow self-interest! That would be the 0.27% of the population, the majority of whom are white, middle class and over 65, those people, the one’s reflect only themselves and not the country as a whole. Talk about niche!

Had Teresa May used the political capital that she had upon her election as Tory leader, then this whole mess could’ve been avoided. Remember those days when compromise was not only possible but also practical? When doing so, building a consensus might have helped heal the divisions that the referendum exposed, rather than not doing so exacerbated? Whereas she thought she was fucking Noel Edmonds, well not fucking Noel Edmonds in that way! I’m sorry to put that image in your head, no one wants that.

And whilst we’re on the subject – not of disturbing conjugal pairings – but things niche, anyone who knows me will know I feel incredibly strongly about this, indeed my partner has to put up with my annual Christmas rant about this. It concerns the abject failure of ITV to provide even the slightest suggestion that they haven’t just thrown in the towel as regards quality programming, but instead rely on ‘talent’ shows, soaps and sport. Oh not forgetting quiz shows and anything they can persuade ‘celebrities’ to do. Anything, it would seem, to keep advertisers happy, and thus shareholders in profit. At 1am I switched over from the BBC’s excellent election coverage to see what ITV was doing. Live roulette befouled my eyes yet even Sky was covering the results. Even Sky! I know the BBC comes in for criticism, some of it well deserved, but by quite a wide margin it’s head and shoulders way better than commercial television. Anyone who’s had the misfortune to endure American television is well aware of that! And don’t get me started on the superiority of BBC Radio – well Radio 4 and the World Service – over everything in every possible way! They just are.

And we’re off! Emily Thornberry Labours ForSec has already got me well into my drinking game. I’m worried that I’ll run out of alcohol if this continues. mount

1st result in Brexit Party have 39% of the vote. But ET is sticking to the tired rhetoric of calling for a 2^nd referendum.

The story that’s emerging is that Brexit party is doing really well, in fact their % share of the vote is x2 that of LibDems, not that you’d get that from Ed Davey MP.

Another result, another whopping victory for the Brexit party, who got double the vote of the 2^nd placed Lib Dems

London has declared LD”s won, no shock, but the story is yet again the 18 % for share the Brexit party. Emily Thornberry is confusing her mouth with her anus. SecRef? Laura K giving her a grilling over her vacillation. Good.

Heidi Allen from Change UK costing me lots of drinks

Good analysis from John Cuticle, essentially polarization more entrenched = share between parties for hard brexit as for remain. LK thinks parties that have clarity do well

No news of rest of Europe yet. Yorkshire&Humber declared Brexi party x2 share vote of Labour

Quote of the Night by Mark Fracoius MP on Tory loses ‘The effluent product has affected to the rotary air conditioning unit”

Ann Widdecombe on. R thinks she looks like Alastair Sim in his female guise, whereas I think she looks like Doc Brown in ‘Back to the Future’ what with her mad hair, even madder eyes and completely bizarre way of ending each question by dismissively trying to stare out the camera. Mad as a box of frogs, that one.

Because traditional election night results show follow a ‘who’s done well, who hasn’t, what does this mean ‘ formula and gets party apologists to parrot pre-arranged talking points, the astounding success of the Brexit party is not given the prominence it deserves or explaining the reasons for its success imho

John Cuticle is saying the result is, in its simplest form, a draw.

Headlines about results in France and Germany, but apart from that, nothing. Poor

BBC coverage over so time for bed!

As I mentioned earlier, I’ll be partaking of some fermented liquids whilst watching the results of the EU elections and it occurred to me that I should combine it with a drinking game. Not obviously the kind of drinking game that goes with ‘Withnail and I’, as it’s a long night and, more importantly, I’m neither young or foolish. Instead I thought of a drinking game where I take a swig of lager every time a phrase is mentioned, what with it going to be a long night and all…

The contenders so far are:

‘This has been clearly a disappointing night for us…’

‘The trend all over Europe has been..’

‘The only winner here is democracy’

‘There are many reasons why our message didn’t resonate with voters..’

‘The results clearly prove that old tribal loyalties are no more…’

‘People wanted to send an unmistakable message to Westminster.. ‘

‘The polls predicted x, we’ve confounded expectations with a huge mandate..

‘I think it deeply unfair on our hard-working MEP’s who have lost their seats..’

‘Now is not an appropriate time to speculate on where we went wrong…’

Maybe I’ve given this a bit too much thought, as even by writing this I’ve thought of loads more…

Just an hour to go now.

Hopefully there’s enough lager. Or else in emergencies there’s some sweet sherry…

Tonight is going to be a great night, at least in terms of keeping me entertained, that is. For others, it will less great as the results of the European election come in, but they can take some comfort in the fact that they have played a vital role in a democratic exercise, granted not the role they would have wanted, but vital nonetheless.

So I’ll be watching and listening to the BBC coverage and analysis – as if any sensible person would do anything else – from 10pm. Early predictions are expected at about 5pm, with provisional results expected around about 11pm.

In keeping with my aspiration not to swear on this blog, but knowing tonight might prove a challenge, I have found a solution to this dilemma that I’m sure most politicians would approve of. I might swear, but in a language that isn’t English, so if you read a word on my blog tonight that you’ve never encountered, well know you know.

As I might blog tonight assisted by some fermented liquids, there may well be some grammatical errors.

I could write about the fact that since news of Teresa Mays resignation as P.M broke, that the media has lost no time in speculating about who might succeed her in holding that very poisoned chalice, what they might fill it with and who they then might get to try and drink it. And whilst it has been observed that only Conservative Party MP’s and party members will choose her successor – 0.27% of the population – which is about as democratic as the notion of a second referendum; as far as I can tell there has been no discussion in the media about what practically happens between now and the election of a new leader.

Will MP.’s have their summer recess? In what universe does trying to deal with the gravest ever peacetime problem this country has ever faced involve just fucking off when the weathers good for six weeks? Then come back for a few days work before having another three week jolly for the conference season? And this is all perfectly reasonable, so much so that we pay for this? Are they taking the fucking piss? I never swear when writing this blog, but for such brazen contempt of the people they ostensibly serve, I’m going to making an exception.

Who knows, maybe there will be a concise yet detailed explanation of what happens next, not as the current situation relates to the Conservative party, but more importantly how this affects our on-going political impasse? Is over two weeks of political navel gazing by a part of the political class that doesn’t reflect the demography of our democracy it purports to represent going to help with that? Is a new leader going to be able to substantially clean up the utter mess they’ll inherit? Will MP’s will decide that, on balance, their own self-interest is nowhere near as important as the national interest?

Maybe, but I’m not going to hold my breath.

But no, I’m not going to write about that. Instead, I’m going to observe that one’s body has an unmistakably painful way of letting you know to that you should eat more fibre. This it does when you’re on the toilet and you can feel what feels like a faecal glacier coursing through you with excruciatingly slow intestinal transport occurs and as it does so, it gives you ample opportunity to reflect what it feels like and when something finally emerges, it is so small and painful to extrude, you’d be forgiven for thinking it was a ball of steel wool passing through the eye of a needle.

Speaking of painful little shits slowly exiting, is it just me or does it seems incredibly apt to note that Vince Cable has announced he is stepping down as leader of the Literal Hypocrites in July? And rest assured, I try not to swear in any future blogs. Although whether I succeed in this laudable endeavour depends in part on our elected unrepresentatives.

We are all Goldilocks now.

I am and you are, well most of the people I’ve ever known have been.

In fact, if you have ever rented a room in a shared house, you are Goldilocks. And if you have ever offered a room to rent, you are neither Goldilocks or nor one the bears. I don’t know what you are. In a bind like us I’d guess.

What brings me to this realization is that at the time of writing this, we are currently searching for a new housemate. Despite repeated newspaper articles claiming that finding accommodation in London is increasingly difficult, our lack of applicants hasn’t borne this out. Those that do attach profile photographs look like they’re posing for a Gap catalogue, or thinking that pouting and looking provocative is an somehow an inducement. Some of them have photos that are so artfully posed one thinks ‘too much free time on their hands’. And some of them contain photos of them undertaking a bewildering array of adventurous activities. Which are both alarming and unsettling. And that’s before you even read the profile. I say ‘read’, because it’s more like correcting basic grammatical errors. Capitalization is a major mistake, or rather a lack thereof. There is also a sense of over familiarity that borders on an emotional abnormality. And it’s from this selection of candidates that one is supposed to choose a candidate to interview.

Now my remembrance of the Goldilocks story is a bit hazy but from what I can recall, Goldilocks somehow gained entry into the bears’ house and, finding it empty, investigates. She finds three porridge bowls and proceeds to tastes each of them, finding that whilst one is too hot and one is too cold, the third one is just right. After this she feels a bit tired and finds their beds. One is too lumpy, one is too soft too soft, but one is just right. It is the same with these candidates. They all present the best possible version of themselves. They are tidy, but not obsessively so. Whilst their room might be a bombsite, they are respectful of communal areas. They like a drink, but only to be sociable. They are respectful of personal space and to all intents and purposes are both affable and considerate in the extreme. Apart, that is, from candidates who confuse an interview for the room with a therapy session.

There was one lady who had the biological clock ringing loudly in her ear so not unreasonably told her husband that she wanted a baby. His immediate response was that he wanted a divorce. Quite how I managed not to burst out laughing at that is a cause of wonderment. I mean, no doubt it was unbearably tragic to be in that situation, but she recounted it with all the aplomb and timing of a stand-up comic. But at least she was funnier than the chap who told us he’d tried stand up amongst other things, but wasn’t any good at it, so we Googled his name afterwards and saw You Tube clips proving it. Then there was the guy that had two teenage daughters who he wanted occasionally to sleepover. This wouldn’t be a problem were it not for the fact that he continually repeated throughout the interview. What finally did it for me was when he said that he wouldn’t want to live with anyone who voted for Brexit, and I thought ‘I wouldn’t to want to live with anyone who thinks that way’. I regret not calling him out on that.

But what all of these interviews have bough home – no pun intended – is that all of the prospective housemates have got hopes and dreams for their futures. Indeed, our fourth housemate never stays for more than a year and at least four have moved abroad to pursue their ambitions. One moved abroad to help care for sick parent. The original fourth housemate stuck it out for as long as she could before eventually buying her own flat. And I can’t help contrast their hopes and dreams with my own lack of them. And, to be honest, I haven’t exactly put down any binding ties to my neighbourhood, I haven’t gone out of my way to cultivate any friendships outside of my existing circle of two friends, and if I’m being generous to myself, possibly my support workers. My other two housemates have a daughter at a local school and which has created links to the area and by dint of that, plugged into a social network of other parents. ts. They have also benefited massively from not having a brain injury which has resulted in my past, well, becoming my past, which in turn leads onto some thoughts which would be depressing if it weren’t for the fact that I’m already depressed.

Anyway that’s as maybe.

We are all Goldilocks now.